Is Counseling For Everybody?
There is a notion that crops up from time to time, ‘Everybody needs therapy!’ Let’s take a closer look at such a statement.
As a preamble- there is no universal measure for when to seek help from a Professional Counselor. Successful counseling starts with a personal decision to address a concern and make real change happen. Followed by the particular harmony and working alliance created between the client and counselor.
Another important note, this discussion is about personal counseling and less about clinical therapy. There is a spectrum of intensity and frequency when it comes to counseling or therapy. The Counseling Guild focuses more on achieving personal goals and overcoming specific hardships rather than clinical diagnosis and extended treatment. It is hard to say how many sessions you may need. Everyone's situation is unique, but a reasonable timeline for counseling becomes clearer after the first couple of sessions.
There is another idea about therapy- that it is merely a release valve for negative emotions or relational drama. Our shadowy dimensions are important to consider because they are indeed a part of all of us. However, having a purpose or direction is what makes professional counseling effective and useful. This could be a problem to solve, a topic to explore, or a goal to achieve.
From time to time, we all will need an objective perspective and insightful feedback to help us navigate our lives.
With this in mind, I believe there is a time and place, potentially for anybody to benefit from counseling. The kicker is that counseling shouldn’t go on forever. Reasonable progress should be made in some form, either directly in the counseling office or by getting connected with the appropriate help.
Counseling and therapy have a time and place in life, but it shouldn’t become life itself.
There are many natural avenues of healing through close friends, family, faith, and our inner resources. So when is an appropriate time to consider paying a professional to help?
Suppose you are experiencing a significant disturbance and cannot find someone in your life to offer an attentive, objective perspective. In that case, it is a good indication that you should seek professional help.
It may be easier to provide some examples of cases where professional help may be needed.
An unexpected death or loss of a loved one shatters the foundation of your spiritual & motivational beliefs
You, and I mean YOU as the client recognize a vicious behavioral cycle with a desire to change it.
You live an active, busy, chaotic life, and wish to explore a new sensibility of calm, creativity, and leisure.
A long-term relationship has abruptly ended, and you need help realizing your true personality again.
You are in the middle of, or contemplating a major career change and need a place to objectively explore the pros and cons of the decision.
Negative recurring patterns exist in your marriage. As a couple, you wish to learn new ways of relating to one another while regaining trust and respect.
You want to improve your emotional functioning to have a better presence in your work & relationships.
You are a parent who is struggling with negative behaviors with their child. You wish to improve communication and revamp the dynamic in the household.
You’ve experienced a cycle of social discomfort and wish to improve your experience in the dating/social world.
You are feeling stuck, unmotivated, and tired of living a life of avoidance. You feel the need to start approaching your values and goals.
Aside from specific problems, professional counseling offers a space to pursue a shift in perspective, a change in behavior, or an adjustment of situation, among others. Here are a few examples:
Exploring a different belief system, faith, or religion
Improve clarity and conviction of one’s purpose
Needing or wanting an objective professional to hold you accountable on the path toward a goal
A desire to increase one’s confidence and self-knowledge with the aim of a successful & meaningful career/vocation
You want to clarify events of the past, navigate your present situation, or figure out what you ought to strive for in the future.
Feeling the need to bring a sense of order to an otherwise chaotic, turbulent life.
I’ve had clients tell me they had attended sessions with their old therapist for years and years, but felt like minimal progress was achieved. I find this to be particularly bothersome for a few reasons.
When you find a counselor you trust, and they are skilled, they will hold you accountable to your goals, in a sensible, reasonable fashion.
When your counselor actually wants to get you out of their office and back to living life, you will more likely resolve deeper issues in a shorter amount of time.
Once the significant issues have been addressed, you will most likely not need to come in as frequently. You would be able to move on with your life for longer stretches before needing counseling again.
The amazing thing about a productive, trusting alliance is the ability to say ‘I’m all good for now’, without feeling awkward, pressured, or dependent. While knowing you can always come in if something else comes up.
Is counseling for everybody? Perhaps it is. Should counseling last indefinitely? I would tend to disagree.
I hope this post was helpful whether you are a potential client or a browsing reader. Keep in mind this post is for educational purposes.